Mike Pittman, April 05, 2009
There are going to be some rough spots in every marriage. This being so, every married person should learn the attitudes and methods that are necessary to carry us through those stormy times so we can have stronger, happier marriages.
One of the keys to successful marriage is good communication. In Ephesians 4:25ff. we see some things which are vital to healthy communication in the church, the home, the office, or anywhere else we may interact with others.
Husbands and wives must be honest, truthful, and open with one another. "Therefore, putting away lying, each one speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another" (Eph. 4:25). Paul noted that all who are in Christ "are members of one another." While brethren in the Lord are close, married people are double close. How important, then, is it for them to honest with one another? Not only will lying get us into trouble with God (Acts 5:1-5) it will surely bring trouble to the marriage, for in the absence of honesty there is no trust.
Uncontrollable anger can kill a marriage. "Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down or your wrath, nor give place to the devil" (Eph. 4:26-27). Anger can be mishandled by blowing up. This kind of behavior brings embarrassment, accomplishes no good, and hurts everyone involved. Anger can also be mishandled by clamming up. Sometimes married people harbor resentment and keep an account of the wrongs done unto them. Then, bitterness sets in, providing for a tense and miserable situation for everyone in the home. A better alternative is the right kind of communication. It is possible (whether admitted or not) for married people to control their anger and calmly discuss their problems and needs. Husband and wives - do not attack each other! Attack the problem, quietly.
Gracious speech is a chief component of healthy communication. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers" (Eph. 4:29). Speak wholesome words to each other which build up, rather than unwholesome words which tear down - and do it consciously. It is not enough to say: "Well, I don't ever talk bad to him/her, or cut him/her down." We need to speak words which build up.
All of us could probably stand to work harder on healthy communication. With the right attitudes and approach, we will have stronger marriages.
Subscribe [ undergoing redesign ]